He Was Nothing I Wanted, All That I Needed

Do you believe in love at first sight? Is that even still a thing anymore? Is it possible for someone to be all that I needed? Not sure, but I think that’s what happened to me. It was 2005 when I met him, I was on Spring Break enjoying palm trees, mixed drinks and a great time with four of my besties.

The night was young, the music was loud and my Keyshia Cole inspired ponytail had me feeling myself. My girls and I walked into the club and as I scanned the room, I saw him standing alone. His hat was low, he had a drink in his hand and his swag was on 1000.

My girls and I had decided to see who could get the most drinks bought for them that night and he was on my radar. (Don’t judge me, we were in undergrad. 😂🤦🏾‍♀️ ) I actually told my girls, don’t mess with that one, he’s mine. (Be careful what you ask for. Lol) So I walked around the club, dancing and swinging my ponytail, waiting on him to approach me. He took forever. I got tired of waiting for him to say something. So I took it upon myself and did the whack “bump” into him move. “Oh excuse me, I didn’t mean to bump into you!” He looks down on me, because I am 5ft and he is 6’3 and says, “It’s cool.”

He tried to play it cool, but he was watching ya girl the entire time. Lol.

I immediately go into game mode because I am determined to win this competition me and my girls have going on. I ask him what he’s drinking, as he tells me he doesn’t drink. LIES, LIES, and more LIES. 😂 He then laughs and tells me I’m winning anyway. I look up at him startled and asked, “You been watching me?” He said, “Yeah, you killing your girls, but come on, I’ll buy you a drink.” We sat at the table and sparked up a conversation.

I was on Spring Break, so the thought of a relationship was not even an option. I had my list of deal breakers and always felt if you didn’t meet my requirements there was no need for us to even think about being serious. And that’s exactly what happened, he didn’t meet any of them.

I wanted a college man, he was a car salesman. I didn’t believe in long distance relationships, he lived in Georgia and I lived in Michigan. Said I would only date older men and he was a year younger than me. (There were many more deal breakers, but we will save that for another day.) So due to him not meeting any of my requirements, we could only be friends. We exchanged numbers and I went back home to Michigan.

Fast forwarding to two months later, I have talked to him every single day. Never missed a day and we talk all day long. He makes me laugh and brings a joy that I had never felt before. All this happiness is coming from a man that did not meet any of my requirements. Once I graduated from college, he went into the Air Force and built an amazing career.

Never would have imagined, but…

Fast forwarding to 15 years later, he still makes me laugh just as hard, still makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl in the world and still reminds me how miserable I would be today if I had held on to those whack standards and not given him a chance. Lol.

He helped me fix my credit, we have purchased homes and cars together, have four kids and have built our lives together from the bottom up. He has been my biggest support system and the reason I smile so hard. Turns out, he was all that I needed.

I say all this to say, ladies, don’t be afraid to take a chance on love because you never know how it will turn out. Don’t shy away from him because you feel he may not be on your level, because he may be the very person to take you to the next level. Now, there are some personal things that we all know we cannot budge on taking a chance and that’s okay. But for everything else, try to be open minded and optimistic because the man you feel you may not want, may be the very man that you need.

Have you experienced a relationship turning out to be way more than you expected? And they ended up being all that you needed?