Mommy, You Are Doing A Great Job!!

Motherhood is tough and we don’t always get the reassurance that we are doing a great job. A lot of times it may feel like we are hitting the wall head on and everything is crashing in on us, but remember, every mom has been there and every mom has seen a brighter day. That means you will too!

But it’s not always as sweet as it sounds. What do you do when you are in the middle of the wall closing in on you? I’ve been there too, let me share my story.

You are not alone

Remember that wall that I talked about just a minute ago… well, yesterday, I hit that wall. The kids were outside playing with their dad, which gave me time to get dinner ready. He did his part to keep them entertained. My part was to prepare the food and have dinner ready by the time they finished playing outside. I made salisbury steak, rice and corn. When everyone came in from outside and sat at the table, they all looked at me with a disgusted face and said we don’t want to eat that. Can we have something else, please?

Now, if you know me, you know that cooking is not my strong point, but I have come a long way. I can usually brush it off when I mess up a meal here or there, but yesterday, I couldn’t. And the thing was, this meal was not even bad. It tasted pretty good. (I’m not exaggerating!! Lol) But they just didn’t want to eat that. My eyes immediately filled with tears. I felt like I had failed on my part as a mom. My only job at this moment, was to feed the kids and while it looked as if my husband did his part so effortlessly and pleasing to everyone, I was struggling horribly.

I snapped at the kids and told them, “Oh well, this is what I cooked and this is what you are going to eat!!” Everyone got quiet and picked up their forks. As I turned my back, tears began streaming down my face. I felt like I was failing. The thought that crossed my mind, was when my children get older, they won’t be able to say, “Man I miss my momma’s cooking. Mom, you always cooked good meals” The conversation will be “Naaaah, Mommy really wasn’t killing it in the kitchen.” I cried more as I thought about having three girls that will need to learn how to cook soon and I am not the best teacher for that. At this very moment, I felt vulnerable and inadequate.

I needed a moment to myself

I skipped dinner with the family and went upstairs to my room. Tears still rolling down my face, I told myself to pull it together. Why was I feeling this way, why was I so overwhelmed? The truth is, I don’t know why!! But I know my feelings are valid. I’m having a moment and that is okay!!

As mothers, we deal with so much on a consistent bases that we forget to tap into our own emotions and feelings because we are so focused on everyone else’s.

Later on that night, I realized that my menstrual cycle is due to drop any day and that was another reason (probably the main reason!) for the over flow of emotions. Why did God give us all of these things to deal with at once? 🤦🏾‍♀️ 🤷🏾‍♀️

Focus on the positive

The truth is I will probably never be a great cook and throw down in the kitchen like Big Momma. But what I will be, is able to show my children unconditional love. I will be a mom that is present, a mom that listens, a mom that allows my kids to make mistakes and teach them how to deal with their own emotions. I’ll be a mom that teaches the importance of family, sibling unity, self love and self independence. I may not be able to teach them how to prepare a gourmet meal, but I will be able to show them that when the dinner recipes fail, there is always a restaurant near by that is ready to take your order.

I learned to focus on the things that I have succeeded in, instead of the things that I have not done so well in. We won’t say “failed in” because I believe you only fail when you stop trying and because my entire household depends on me to eat, I can never stop trying.

Remember, you got this mommy!!

So, if you are at that wall and you feel like they are closing in on you, know that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel vulnerable and it’s okay to have a moment to deal with your feelings. You are dealing with a lot and it’s hard to manage everything perfectly. Somethings will not get done, but be proud of yourself for everything that did get done. Give yourself grace and celebrate the small wins.

Keep pushing and remember to pat yourself on the back today because no matter how tough it may get, you are still making things happen.

Share this post with a mom that is doing a great job!!