My Child Birth Story. Not What I Had Planned.

So let’s talk child birth, everyone’s story and journey is different. We all have our thoughts and hopes of what we want it to be and how the process will go. Sometimes, we are lucky enough that things go smoothly, and sometimes everything goes totally unexpected.

This month, there are two awareness that we are celebrating. Black Maternal Health Week and Cesarean Awareness Month. I have the honor of being a part of both. Child birth is tough and it takes a lot for a woman to go through 40 weeks of growing a life inside of her. We put our mind, body and souls through so much to be the vessel to bring life into the world. So, to all the moms about to give birth, especially during this pandemic, try to stay as peaceful, prayerful and hopeful as possible. God’s got you and I pray for a safe delivery for you all.

Child Birth Through My Eyes

So let’s talk about my child birth story. I found out I was pregnant at the age of 26. I had been married for 3 years at the time. Our plan was to be married for 5 years before we started a family, but things didn’t work out that way.

I was at work one day, and out of no where, and a piercing pain shot through my abdomen. This pain brought me to my knees, instantly. I was working in a hospital, thank God, so my coworker threw me in a rolling chair and rolled me down to the ER. Turned out I had a cyst, a few of them actually, that had ruptured on my ovary. The doctor told me this was due to my birth control pill and could have an effect on my fertility. With no question, I never took the pill again. And about 7 months later, my auntie flow decided not to come and my pregnancy test was positive! Such a joyous time for us.

So the journey began. It was an enjoyable one I must say, as I reflect back while writing this. And funny at times too. I remember my husband making me lunch because he was determined we had to do everything right for the baby. The funny thing is Drey does not cook, so I would have a ham sandwich with an entire bag of carrots and grapes..and water..everyday! 😂 He had the right idea in mind, just not the right menu for me. But it’s always the thought that counts. So thanks Boo. He was excellent support the entire 9 months.

Things Took A Turn

At 16 weeks, I went to the bathroom and peed blood. Complete freak out moment! I knew that blood during pregnancy was not a good sign. Immediately, straight to the doctor. Baby’s heart beat was good and all looked okay, but why the blood? This was scary. Doctor said he would just watch it. Orders were if it happens again, return immediately. The bleeding happened about 3 more times during the course of the pregnancy, but the tests were always good. I felt fine, baby was growing well and everything was okay. I would just be super nervous from time to time about the blood.

So fast forwarding to week 32, I woke up and the blood had returned. This time it was like I was on my cycle, bright red and super heavy. Being afraid was an understatement, and once again we’re off to the hospital. After looking at the ultra sound, the doctor discovered I had placenta previa. This is when the placenta is covering the cervix. This is what was causing the bleeding. The doctor was not able to see this on the previous ultra sounds because the placenta moves as the pregnancy progresses and it wasn’t until now, that it was fully covering the cervix. He immediately told me I would be scheduled for a c-section and a vaginal delivery was not an option. But this was not what I wanted. He further explained, if I were to go into labor, and the placenta came out of my cervix before the baby, she would be in there with no oxygen and excessive bleeding would occur that could harm me and the baby.

My Child Birth Plan is Changing

I wanted to do the entire dramatization that I had always seen on t.v. I wanted to do the hee, hee, hoo breathing, slapping my husband, telling him “You did this to me!”, having him tell me just push baby….you know…all that stuff that we think is cool for child birth. Lol. My doctor informed me his job is to get my daughter out safely and keep me alive, so all the dream breathing will have to be at another time. Lol. For preventative measures, I received a steroid shot that would strengthen the baby’s lungs in case she came early.

I was placed on bed rest for two weeks, but after the 4th day, I was over that. I was only able to go my doctors appointments and to the bathroom. Now, being four kids in, those doctor’s orders actually sound pretty good.😂But anyway, after two weeks, there was no more bleeding and I was able to move around again.

Here We Go!

Week 37 and the day after my baby shower. I was sitting on the couch, writing out my thank you cards, I got up to go get some water. As soon as I step in the kitchen, barely making it off our white carpet…Splash!!! Blood everywhere. I mean, it is just pouring out. I scream out for Drey and he runs out the room. “Oh shit!!” were his exact words. “What do you want me to do, Donna?” I told him to get me some towels and grab my baby bag, we have to go to the hospital right now. He comes out of the room with two bath towels and HIS bathrobe. 😂 Completely left my bag, but he’s got his robe. We still laugh at that to this day. He said he was panicking and that was the first thing he saw, so he grabbed it. 🤦🏾‍♀️

We get to the hospital, they hook me up to the monitors, I’m still bleeding. They call the doctor. I looked at Drey and told him we are having this baby today. He did not believe me, he said, “No way, you have 2 weeks left.” The doctor walks in, checks my monitors and said, “Whelp, you are 37 weeks as of today…want to have a baby?” I looked at my husband and said, “told ya!”

To The Operating Room

They wheeled us down to the operating room and got everything ready. The delivery went great. Dreya came out kicking and screaming, I felt fine and all was well. Having a c-section was not what I envisioned for myself, but it was the safest for both of us and that is what’s important.

The recovery was brutal. I made sure I took my pills as soon as it was time for them, and probably a few minutes early, so I wouldn’t be able to feel the pain. I slept in a recliner for 2 weeks, because there was no way I could lay flat in a bed and try to use my stomach muscles to get up. It was a rough journey, but we made it.

Surprise! Baby No #2

Fast forwarding to two years later, I was pregnant with baby no #2. I had hopes of having a VBAC. I still had hopes of having the whole crazy labor experience.

We had relocated and were now living in a smaller city than before. My doctor informed me with my previous history, the hospital was not fully equipped if extreme emergency measures were needed. I would have to transfer to the next biggest city to deliver if I wanted to push and that was an hour away. Which also meant I would have to change doctors. So I decided c-section, here we come again. Baby number 2 was delivered perfectly fine. My 3rd and 4th pregnancy were very calm and uneventful. I enjoyed every moment of it.

My Child Birth Story Was Perfect

I had a c-section for all 4 of my children. It was not what I planned or how I dreamed of my child birth story and at times I feel like I was robbed of the entire labor experience. But it was perfect, because it was God’s plan. It is so important for moms to do what is best for them and the baby. Don’t try to continue with your birth plan because that is what you dreamed of. Go with what is safe so that you and your baby can remain as healthy as possible. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it all the same way because all four of my children were delivered successfully and are healthy.

To all the c-section moms, your strength is immeasurable. Just think, our stomachs were actually cut open, organs moved around, baby pulled out and then sewn back together. Child birth is no joke if it’s vaginal or cesarean. But I have a special place in my heart for c-section moms because we were turned inside out, literally, to become a mom. And we all have a pretty war wound to show for it. ❤️ To the expecting moms, don’t be scared of the journey, it is all worth it once you see your little one’s face. Happy birthing to all.

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How was your child birth story? Did things go as planned for you?